Since I arrived here almost ten years ago, I always remember spending long summers out by the lake and forest and saying to myself “I’m going to live here one day” and now, ten years later, I find myself in the middle of what can only be described as a dream.

The Forest is many things for me, a place to hide, a place to show myself, a place to experience the endless rounds of emotional waves that currently pass through my body in just the same way the wind passes through the tops of the trees.

The Forest is…


You didn’t calm down, you continued to pressure me to leave, I continued to refuse. On the morning of day 3, I felt betrayed enough and through that feeling of betrayal, I became defensive and self-protective. I should have left the moment I smashed up the guitar, I should have left when I lost my mind, hell, if I want to continue to go backwards, we shouldn’t have moved in together at all under those circumstances, we wouldn’t be here right now if that didn’t happen. Coincidence? The first and only apartment I applied for said “yes”, it is located…


and why I’ll probably never escape..

Back in 2012, I was working a dead end job in a hotel bar, spending my weekends locked in my bedroom, making Techno music, waiting for the parents to go out so I could smoke weed in the garden.

Life was on repeat, granted it was a stable existence in comparison to the previous years, nonetheless, itchy feet syndrome was starting to set in. I had already been spending weekends in Berlin, my superstar Techno production skills had gotten the attention of a guy living in Berlin, we became friends and I started visiting.

One night I came home from…


I have never been one to write a year in review, I always found it to be so self serving, a moment at the end of the year where everyone takes a moment to announce to the world of social media how fucking awesome their year has been in a desperate bid to quickly squeeze in one last grab for validation before the year ends.

However this year is different and for me it ended on a somber and reflective note so I am feeling somewhat sentimental right now and as we are entering a new decade, why the hell…


Life is game, a game that begins only when we can see and further understand the pre-determined paths our lives are set on. The game only begins when we want to break free from that path, otherwise we are merely pieces in someone else’s game.

From that point of realization we enter a constant battle with ourselves, the inner world, our true inner selves wish to remain in place, protected from the material world and yet we find ourselves in a position where where have to, in some way project an image upon it, a representation of ourselves. …


I am effectively a ghost in this city, a city ironically haunted by the ghost of her. It’s a strange feeling living in a foreign city, knowing your ex lives a mere few kilometers away. We move in different circles so bumping into her isn’t a worry, it’s just that feeling of not belonging to a place. The feeling of wanting to run a million miles away is ever present.

The moment I decide that I want to move somewhere usually sparks a disdain inside of me, a underlying dissatisfaction with my current living situation. In the past, I could…

Chirs Markey

C is a British born writer living in Berlin.

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